Plannerrhoids: a Colchester disease

They have become so prevalent in Colchester that one begins to forget that they are there, infesting the skyline, or sprouting up in redundant spaces between buildings. They come in many shapes, sizes and materials, but what they have in common is that they have no purpose, no function, no value. They are plannerrhoids, and they are a symptom of a dysfunctional and afflicted body civic. Whereas haemorrhoids are caused, I understand, by too much straining, plannerrhoids occur through an absence of effort, a paucity of thinking and a loss of integrity. Expect more plannerrhoids around town, because this distemper is far from played out. What is curious, however, is that some buildings don’t have them at all. Why aren’t there any on the Mercury Theatre, the Town Hall, Holly Trees Museum, Temperleys, the new firstsite building, the new university lecture hall, or the University Quays buildings? Are these somehow disease-resistant designs? Perhaps the planners should investigate.